25
Burnt Bridges
Vanessa
She dragged herself, again, up the staircase of the old apartment building, dread burrowing deeper with each step she took that brought her back to the fourth floor landing. She had run half the journey here, until her muscles were ready to give out, and walked the rest. The regret for neglecting to grab a coat before leaving her parents was quick to materialize. The flowing fabric of her pants provided no warmth whatsoever, the sweater only marginally better. Not only her hands, but her entire body, quaked with violent shivers. She wasn’t sure if it was only the cold that shook her. Stepping onto the landing at the top of the stairs, their voices were plain to hear through the closed door.
“She’s not answering.”
“Try again!”
“I’ve tried seven times, Liam! She’s not answering!”
“If you hadn’t screamed at her—”
“Me? You’re the one who let her through the door!”
“I’m going after her.”
“You can’t!”
“I don’t care! I’m going after her!”
The door in front of her flew open, the light from the apartment spilling out onto the dingy landing and lighting up her visage like a specter. Liam was halfway through the door when he froze, his eyes wide with surprise and worry. He took a step toward her when he noticed her shaking, but stopped short when she flinched. Moving back a half step, he held his hands out to his sides, surrendering to her constitution.
“Vanessa,” he whispered, his voice filled with a degree of love and care that she had failed to find at her childhood home.
The power of his single spoken word stung her eyes anew with the pain of fresh tears filling her already spent ducts. Her chin quivered as she fought for control over her emotions, forcing herself to take slow, measured breaths. She took a careful step forward, and another, until she was directly in front of him. He held still, waiting. Reaching out, the cabling of his sweater was soft as she pinched the stitches between her fingers. Liam. She lent forward, letting her forehead rest against his chest, and closed her eyes. Small noises escaped her as she held her breath in an effort to stop herself from sobbing. She was so tired of crying.
His arms, cautious and gentle, lifted to encircle her shoulders. When she made no move to pull away, his hold on her tightened, hand coming up to cradle the back of her head like a parent would a child.
Fingers wrapping around handfuls of his sweater, she held on and tried not to lose herself again.
“It’s ok,” he murmured. “I’ve got you. You can let go now.”
One sharp inhale, and she was crying, his words the final push to send her over the cliff of her despair. As she keened in the dark, dusty hall, Liam’s strength kept her from sinking too deep.
It took several minutes for her to calm down, but eventually her wailing quieted, and she pulled back from his warm embrace. He held her hand, leading her into the apartment. Eddie was waiting a few feet from the door, his own eyes red and worried as he watched her.
“I’m so sorry, Eddie.”
His face was pinched and pale, lips pressing together as he looked down at his legs and shook his head. He took a few breaths, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat before looking back up at her. “Clearly there’re some things that we aren’t aware of,” he said. “Let’s sit.”
She followed him to the table, where the chair she had overturned earlier was standing on its feet once again. She sat and waited for them to get situated. This time, they didn’t face her like someone accused, but surrounded her like family. Their faces were open, displaying the care they had for her. Her chest ached to be with them again, to find a way to fill in the chasm that she had struck into their trust by her actions with Senator Ross. And so, after a deep inhale to steel her nerves, she recounted the events of the last few days to the best of her ability. From Barron’s assault and Senator Ross’s impeccably timed rescue, to her unease over the Senator’s familiarity with her apartment building, and finally, her visit to her parent’s home and Barron’s ill-favored proposal. They listened to her speak without interruption. The only movement anyone made was as she told them about her experience with Barron in the office suite. Eddie had reached across the table to offer her his hand. Grateful for his comfort, she didn’t let go until she was finished, by which time his grip on her fingers had become uncomfortably tight.
“Shit.” Liam stared at the table with a blank face.
“I’ll kill him,” Eddie said.
“Settle down,” Liam admonished. “If she couldn’t take him, you definitely can’t.
Vanessa smiled in spite of herself.
“So, that’s why you saved Ross,” he continued, “because he saved you.”
Her smile faded, and she didn’t respond. It wasn’t a question.
“Oh… Oh, shit,” Eddie sighed, closing his eyes in tired resignation.
Liam opened his hand to her, and she found that she was able to reach out and accept his contact easier than she could before. The revelation brought warmth to her heart.
“I’m so sorry, Vanessa,” he said. “We shouldn’t have assumed.”
“No, you didn’t do anything that I wouldn’t have done in your shoes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m sorry I stopped Ross from arriving on time.”
“No to that as well,” Eddie interjected. “He saved you. We owe him. I should have called it off when I learned that you had gotten into the car.”
Silence fell over the table, the three of them a mess of regrets over the events of the last week. Despite Eddie’s words, she still felt that the blame for it all rested squarely on her shoulders. If she hadn’t gotten into the car, or had tried to find a moment to contact them, then four of their own wouldn’t have been executed that morning. She still wanted to believe that it was all some bad dream, that at any moment she would wake up and realize that none of it had been real. Barron hadn’t attacked her, she never sabotaged the Collective, and her betrayal never led to the first arrest and loss of any of their people. But most of all, she wished that her parents hadn’t signed away her life to the one man that she could never stand to be near again.
“What do we do now?”
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woo hoo! Love the direction this is going which honestly I have no idea there’s so many possibilities. Who’s good who’s evil who’s playing who’s not. Wow! great job